Have a little Faith...or A LOT

It's been a week now since Lincoln was transferred up to Primary's. The days have gone by rather quickly. He has made some big changes. Lincoln was taken off the ventilator on Monday. They put him on the nasal cannula and was taken off of that after one day. It's a little ironic that at the beginning of all of our problems with Lincoln in pregnancy, our main concern was his lungs. Now, that has been something that has proved to us there need be no concern!! He is doing pretty well for the most part. He is seven pounds three ounces. He wakes up STARVING (and that's an understatement). He is being fed 30 mls by a bottle every feeding every 3 hours, which is a huge step. Clinically and physically he is showing all the signs of improvement and that his body is fighting off this infection. The labs, on the otherhand, are not one hundred percent convinced that this is the case. There are a few odd-findings and indication that the infection is lingering on. They upped his antibiotics and added an additional one. I am a STRESS case (and that ALSO is an understatement). He's still acting quite irritable, but I attribute that to two different things: 1)the second antibiotic they started is known for being irritable to the veins 2)he has the external drain for his hydrocephalus which means he probably has a HUGE headache.

I break down every now and then. I just want Lincoln to be content...how things were before the infection. He was doing so well!! I'm exhausted, we're all exhausted. Like I've said before, I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare. I hid myself under the covers on my bed this morning after speaking with his nurse. She said nothing too bad, just that they're still not sure the infection is gone. As I lay there feeling sick to my stomach, I received a knock at the door. I have a sign on my door that says 'No Soliciting' and could see it was a couple of ladies. I decided to answer it thinking it could be a couple of my neighbors. Nope, it was the Jehovah's Witness'. I've often found myself trying to place myself in a non-mormon's shoes when they come to the door. I think to myself how would a 'mormon missionary like to be treated as he/she tried to share a message.' I always give them my time. The message they shared was about making time in our day to read the bible. I thought this was definitely a message custom-made right for me. They asked why most of us don't get to reading the bible in our daily lives. My response was 'Life just gets in the way. We get busy with day to day tasks.' They agreed. They left and I found myself picking up my scriptures. I read a few different chapters in the bible then I randomly flipped to Doctrine and Covenants chapter 35 verses 8 through 12 in the Book of Mormon and this is what I found:

"8 For I am God, and mine arm is not shortened; and I will show miracles, signs, and wonders unto all those who believe on my name.
9 And whoso shall ask it in my name in faith, they shall cast out devils; they shall heal the sick; they shall cause the blind to receive their sight, and the deaf to hear, and the dumb to speak, and the lame to walk.
10 And the time speedily cometh that great things are to be shown forth unto the children of men;
11 But without faith shall not anything be shown forth except desolations upon Babylon, the same which has made all nations drink of the wine of wrath of her fornication.
12 And there are none that doeth good except those who are ready to receive the fulness of my gospel which I have sent forth unto this generation."
My goodness is this speaking to me!! Once again, pleading for me to strengthen my faith in Him. How ever-present is our Heavenly Father in our lives if we just seek Him! I am so grateful to have all of this knowledge at the grasps of my finger tips daily! If I just have faith He will answer my prayers! The very least I can receive from any of this .... is peace. He may not answer our prayers in the order or timely fashion or the way we want Him to, but He is listening, He is there and He will fill our lives with comfort and peace.

And for now, this is what helps to keep me sane: