..this way..

Written March 23, 2009

All the physical evidence that I was once pregnant has now diminished. So, before the last memories escape me....I thought I'd record them for my sake. For most, something so sacred and deep would seem to be etched in their minds forever. I, however, am not like most. I'm not quite sure where I acquired this trait, but I have this blessing slash curse that limits my memories. I hope the many memories of these latest events will be with me forever.


I went in for my five month prenatal check-up on the 28th of January. We had just had an ultra-sound the first of January and found out Colten was going to be a boy. I was soooo convinced we were going to be having a girl this time. I guess maybe I had wanted it so much I hadn't thought of the other option. Savana kept telling me after that appointment that we weren't having a boy...it was a girl! I had said to her many times "Savana, we've already seen at the doctors it's going to be a boy. Remember?" She was persistant that we weren't having a boy. At times she would agree and say "oh yeah, the doctor said it was a boy." But the majority of the time she would disagree with me. So, I thought to myself "Maybe she knows something, maybe the doctor was wrong."


For both Savana and myself I thought it would be a wise choice to do the ultrasound one more time. If it really was a boy, I would just start preparing. Just Savana and I went in to the doctor's office. We were able to sit up on the table and and watch the events that were about to unfold before us on a big screen TV directly in front of us. This baby had always been very active, even at my previous ultrasound. This time he was sound asleep. Not only was he asleep, but the cord was between his legs. He had his bicep resting on his face with the rest of his arm up above his head. I kept thinking, maybe they were wrong and the cord was in the way last time too. The technician said she wouldn't be able to see anything unless he moved around and got into a different position. I told her no problem, I'd poke and prod at my tummy. As I did this it surely woke him up. He wiggled a little then stretched his little leg and foot above his head.
It was so cute. He was real....SOOO real. Right then and there I fell in love with him. With these actions he was in a position to reveal that what they had once discovered, they had discovered again. They were right, he was a boy. This was the last time we saw Colten before he was born. At that point, he was perfect, everything was fine. To me, that is the way I will remember my little boy forever